The Ice-man and the Virgin
by Koala Penguin
Summary: Mycroft and Sherlock are brothers. A fact Sherlock resents and the hurt runs deep. At his Scottish private boarding school he met John Watson and Greg Lestrade as well as Jim Moriarty. Sherlock endures corporal punishment that tips into abuse and then something really bad happens. Has Jim Moriarty committed suicide, is Sherlock responsible, was it an accident or is he still alive?
1. Summary

Mycroft Holmes is the Director General of the British Security Service, otherwise known as MI5 based at Thames House. He has a direct line to the Prime Minister and the Home Secretary trusts his judgement completely. Instead of being recruited covertly at University, as he would have preferred, he joined the Police Graduate fast-track scheme and then actively sought to be seconded into the Service. Once there he never left.

Whilst a Detective in Scotland, he encountered his brother's intellectual equal Jim Moriarty. Moriarty shared a dormitory with Sherlock Holmes, John Watson and Greg Lestrade in a Scottish private school during the early 1990's. It was there that Moriarty made it his mission to destroy his brother Sherlock Holmes. He's being trying ever since.

Warning: In Scottish private schools corporal punishment was permitted until 2000 and this story reflects this.


	2. Chapter 1

DI Mycroft Holmes was sitting at his desk examining photographs of a counter terrorism operation. He was the lead detective on all matters relating to terrorism and organised crime in Inverness. This was his stepping stone on to greater things. However, occasionally he would step into the world of ordinary crime if the need arose.

DS Anna Colins walked up to Mycroft's desk and congratulated him "Well done on the triple arrests. Who would have thought that a terrorist cell would be operating here? We should go out and celebrate tonight." Anna knew that Mycroft was going to accelerate through the ranks and thought he was a good catch despite certain personality flaws.

Mycroft knew what Anna's game was but whilst he didn't have much time for it the offer of spending a night with a pretty woman was tempting. However, unfortunately he had another engagement to go and said "Actually, I was planning on a joint celebration with my brother. He won a prestigious music prize and the ceremony is tonight. The arrogant runt probably thinks he's the next Edward Elgar."

DI John Macbeth scoffed "Being arrogant must run in the family. See you in the pub Rach. Bye Anna."

Anna wasn't going to take no for answer from Mycroft "I'm sure you don't need to go. You can just explain you had other things to do. Besides your parents will be there…"

Mycroft decided to correct her there "My parents died in a car crash when I was 18."

"Oh, I didn't know" Anna blushed.

"It's not something one likes to mention" Mycroft replied stiffly.

"So it's just you and your brother?" Anna probed.

"Yes" Mycroft didn't like to talk about his family.

"How old is he?"

"15" Mycroft was finding this tiresome.

"Well not to be harsh but I think that's old enough to deal with his brother missing a silly little prize giving" Anna belittled. "I can tell you don't really want to go. I was planning something special for you tonight."

Mycroft wasn't into relationships anymore but he wasn't asexual either "I guess it is a bit of a drive away. I'll make it up to him another time. I'll meet you in the pub. I'll just phone him."

Anna gave Mycroft an enticing smile and left to go to the local pub.

"That didn't take her long did it?" DS Rachel Light observed.

"Rachel, this has nothing to do with you anymore" Mycroft firmly said.

"Yes it does because no-one else would tell you what an ignoramus you are being to Sherlock." Rachel replied frankly "I know that you failing to keep another promise will crush him and if you took a moment to think about it so do you. I was there the last time."

"Yes I remember it was the day you broke off our engagement." Mycroft cuttingly replied. He had been hurt by that and knew he would never again where his heart on his sleeve.

"I didn't want to be married to a man who would brush his brother aside for a boating trip or whatever it was you were doing. What would you have brushed me aside for? Please don't do this to him. Show him that you're proud of him. Going to this ceremony would mean so much to him." Rachel encouraged. She had a soft spot for Mycroft's awkward little brother.

"Rachel, this still is none of your business." Mycroft huffed. He then picked up the receiver and then dialled his brother's school "Hello. Can I speak to Sherlock Holmes? It's Mycroft Holmes. Yes I'll wait. Sherlock, I can't make it tonight. I'm sorry. I'm really busy at work. Okay. Well good-bye then." Mycroft then hanged up and then thought aloud "That was easier than expected."

"Sherlock would make it easy on you but it doesn't mean he isn't hurt. Mycroft despite your attitude to Sherlock I know that wouldn't want him to despise you. I know that you miss him occasionally and are concerned about him. Would it kill you to show it" Rachel said exasperatedly and then left Mycroft to ponder over her words.

* * *

Mycroft received a call on his mobile. He picked it up given that it was his DCI. "Mycroft, a St Martin's boy was found hanged this morning. I want you to investigate the case with Rachel."

For a second Mycroft's thoughts turned to Sherlock but given his DCI's calmness in instructing him to investigate he quickly dismissed such thoughts. Mycroft then immediately protested "My brother goes to that school. I think I'm too close."

"I think that will work in our favour" DCI Jones countered. "Familiarity, empathy etc. etc. If it turns out there was foul play I'll take you off the case."

Mycroft realised that he didn't have much choice so he agreed to take the case with Rachel. Mycroft then picked up Rachel on the way to his brother's school. It vexed him to work with her. She always brought up his relationship with his brother. Mycroft was tempted to roll his eyes when she said "After we're done today at St Martin's why don't you spend some time with Sherlock?"

"There'll be paper work to do. We won't have time. Let's just get in and out" Mycroft huffed.

"You're unbelievable. Why do always find any excuse to avoid him?" Rachel asked.

"I don't avoid him. Rachel stop lecturing me about my brother. I'm tired of it. I've been looking after Sherlock all my life. Even when father and mother were alive it was me who had to look after him. My parents were too self-absorbed to notice him." Mycroft stated, he hoped that would put an end to Rachel's endless badgering.

"Can't you see you're doing exactly what your parents did to you?" Rachel asked, determined for Mycroft to see sense "You resent that Sherlock doesn't share your bitterness. Don't you realise that the reason why he doesn't share it is because they are not here to reject him like they did to you? But Sherlock looks up to you more than he does them and here you are repeating the same mistake."

"Sherlock is too sluggish and dogged to care about me missing his ceremony" Mycroft coolly replied.

"It's not just the ceremony. How many times have you used those same words to describe your father? You have to stop treating Sherlock with passive aggressiveness simply because of what your parents did to you" Rachel heatedly responded.

"This is your psychology degree talking but Sherlock is beyond the bounds of conventional psychology and this is still none of your business" Mycroft huffed.

Rachel felt like screaming but instead she said "John was spot on. Those characteristics such as stubbornness and arrogance must run through your family like red hair runs through mine. I'm telling you this for your sake as well as Sherlock's but certainly not for my own gratification."


	3. Chapter 2

Sherlock was sitting on a wall smoking a cigarette when he saw Mycroft's car coming up the drive. Sherlock had wanted to see who had been sent to investigate Jim Moriarty's death and it was just his luck that it was Mycroft. Sherlock jumped off the wall trying to stand tall, he would never let his brother see how much he got to him.

For a second Mycroft saw the resentment in Sherlock's eyes but then Sherlock's whole body language returned to its usual aloofness. Sherlock walked away as Mycroft parked the car and was greeted by the Head Master, Dr Nelson. They were then joined by Sherlock's House Master Mr Austin.

"Mycroft, what unfortunate circumstances in which to meet you again. We were expecting you yesterday of course." Mr Austin was quiet fond of Sherlock's intellect so took the opportunity to remind Mycroft of his guardian duties "Sherlock was cut up that you didn't attend. So much so that he didn't attend himself. When I gave him his prize this morning he discarded it. I understand that you are a busy man but Sherlock would've spent Christmas here alone if my wife hadn't taken pity on him."

"Mr Austin, don't be so harsh. It is hardly Detective Inspector Holmes fault if a crime calls to be investigated. Is that not so?" Dr Nelson interrupted. Mycroft gave a tight nod. Dr Nelson then said with a solemn smile to Mycroft "We know all know each other but perhaps you could introduce your colleague."

Rachel decided to introduce herself to save Mycroft the trouble and break up the old boy network "I'm Detective Sergeant Rachel Light. We're here to investigate the death of James Moriarty. I understand that it was Mr Austin who called the police."

"That's correct" Mr Austin confirmed. "The boys woke up to the bell as usual and saw him hanging at the end of their dorm. Greg Lestrade reported it to me and I in turn called the emergency services."

"Mr Austin, I would like the names of all the boys who sleep in James' dorm as well as a list of close acquaintances. Then I would like a further discussion with you" Mycroft requested though it sounded like an order.

* * *

Sherlock had joined John Watson and Greg Lestrade in their dorm which they had shared with James Moriarty. Sherlock didn't make friends but John and Greg regarded him as such. They admired his mind and knew that despite his lack of social graces Sherlock had a good heart.

"The police are here. What are we going to tell them?" John asked Sherlock who normally had all the answers "It can't be a coincidence that the day James faced corporal punishment he decided to hang himself."

"What happens in Dr Nelson's office is irrelevant" Sherlock responded.

"If anyone was to commit suicide because of that it would …" Greg tailed off but both John and Sherlock could guess the end of that sentence.

John continued explaining his train of thought "Snitching might get rid of him."

"I doubt it" Sherlock sighed. "The reason why he got the job in the first place was because of his influential friends. There's the school to think about. I don't want it to be remembered for the wrong things. This school is respected because most of our alumni are prominent in their field."

"You should right down that last bit" John mocked knowing that Sherlock didn't care about school honour. "Nice Head Boy applicant speech there."

"I'm not running" Sherlock retorted but then his eyes twinkled since he knew that John was teasing him as Mycroft had been Head Boy.

"I agree with Sherlock." Greg added. His family had a strong connection to the school and he had been looking forward to going since his cousin went "This school isn't bad. It's the head master who's rotten."

"James could be dead because of him" John pointed out.

"We don't know that" Greg replied. "James never seemed to get into trouble. I want to keep the reputation of the school intact. My father went to this school and so did my grandfather. My children and my grandchildren will probably go too. If we snitch we'll blacken every boy who went here or will go here. I shouldn't know this but I believe the board of trustees won't be renewing Dr Nelson's contract. The masters know he's incompetent and he'll be gone soon. I think we can put up with him a little longer." Greg quickly examined Sherlock's body language just in case there was a shift but there wasn't.

"This is getting me down" John said putting his head in his hands.

"Didn't think you would be the first to break?" Sherlock challenged.

John reacted angrily "I'm not broken. But what's going on isn't right. I wish to hell you would keep your head down and keep your smart comments to yourself especially during the most inappropriate of times."

"Where's the fun in that? It's not my fault if he doesn't have a sense of humour" Sherlock shrugged.

"You got badly hurt last time. He made us beat you in turns. He took some kind of voyeuristic pleasure out of it" John's disgust was apparent in his voice. "I was too terrified to refuse in case he did the same to me. You can't keep behaving as if our old head master is here."

"Of course he hasn't forgotten" Greg defended Sherlock against John who was always overprotective "and he's apologised time and time again that we had to participate in that."

"He shouldn't have needed to apologise" John said pointedly.

"Please stop talking about me as if I wasn't here" Sherlock requested, though it was something he often did himself. "There are other reasons why he did this. Parental pressure. Peer hatred."

"He was a sneak and a suck-up" Greg grumbled.

"My point exactly." Sherlock then explained further "Maybe if you looked past his character and made him feel like a valued member of the school then maybe he would still be alive."

"That doesn't make me feel good about myself but you have a point" Greg conceded but his tone changed when he said "Though I noticed you said you rather we again."

"Your own brother is investigating this. Couldn't we tell him what we know and let him decide?" John suggested. He had to help Sherlock. "I mean he was Head Boy here. He would be as motivated as we are to protect the school" John said trying to beat Sherlock at his own game.

"My dear brother only cares about one thing and that's the quickest way to play spy. I refuse to let him use this school to further his career." Sherlock then appealed to John "John, you have to promise me you won't say anything about what Dr Nelson does to me to anyone, but especially my brother. He'll only take me out of this school and shove me into another one."

John realised that some deeper emotion was at play here for Sherlock and so said "Fine I won't say anything but I'm not happy about doing that."


	4. Chapter 3

It was Sherlock's turn to be interviewed by the Police. He took his seat opposite DS Light and slouched in the chair.

"Hello, Sherlock" Rachel said kindly.

"Rachel. Or do I have to call you Detective Sergeant Light as you are on official duty?" Sherlock said with as much politeness as he could muster "Where's Mycroft?"

"Rachel will be fine. Mycroft will be along soon. I see that you are doing brilliantly from your last school report but lack certain graces shall we say" Rachel said as she examined the information she was given by Mr Austin.

"The masters would call it insubordination" Mycroft chimed in as he came in through the door.

"I take my studies relatively seriously but I do enjoy having fun once in a while" Sherlock argued and then turned to Mycroft "So you do know your way here then or did Rachel do the navigating?"

Mycroft ignored Sherlock's sarcasm, his attention was taken with the information on Sherlock's school record. "It says here that you saved a boy from drowning in the loch that had iced over and you suffered severe hypothermia. Why wasn't I informed about this?" Mycroft demanded.

"I told them you were in outer Mongolia" Sherlock said with boredom apparent in his voice.

"And of course they believed you?" Mycroft raised an eye brow.

"It was a metaphor for police training of the Isle of Man. I heard that you're a Detective Inspector now. It's a shame I had to hear it from a student you previously questioned but I'm really pleased for you." Sherlock's voice however was deadpan "I've always known you have the tenacity…"

"Hold it right there" Mycroft warned Sherlock. "You're not getting out of this one. You could have drowned or died from hypothermia because of your foolhardiness."

"I didn't. This is why I tried to evade telling you. You get all mother-like" Sherlock rolled his eyes.

"I am your legal guardian" Mycroft said pointedly.

"Well, it's better when we are more like …" Sherlock tried to find the right word "chums let's say. I don't expect anything from you and you don't get all authoritarian. A win-win situation."

Rachel decided to intervene before either Sherlock or Mycroft couldn't stand being each other's company. "Let's not get side tracked. I believe that you knew James Moriarty quiet well. Can you describe him for us in your own words?"

"He had brown hair" Sherlock began knowing that his simplistic take on the question would irritate his brother.

"She means personality" Mycroft said, predictably irritated as Sherlock's lack of propriety.

"James Moriarty is the type of boy who will grow up to be a master criminal" Sherlock said frankly. Mycroft didn't react. He knew Sherlock was being serious.

"He wasn't well liked then?" Rachel asked.

"No" Sherlock confirmed.

"Was he bullied?" Rachel followed up.

"This school is a good school. Our father went here …" Sherlock said knowing that Mycroft would react at the mention of their father.

"One is not as good as one's school. So sullying this school is not the same as sullying our father or the other thousands of students who came here" Mycroft said unemotionally guessing that Sherlock wanted a rise out of him. "There's always bullying of some kind in schools."

"He was left out of things" Sherlock disclosed.

"Can you think of any reason why James would kill himself?" Mycroft cut to the chase knowing that the standard questions would only elicit standard answers from Sherlock.

"Are you asking me to do your job for you?" Sherlock smirked.

"Show some respect and answer the question. I was hoping that you would have the decency to shed some light on a boy's death" Mycroft admonished. "Can you think of any specific incidents that pushed him over the edge?"

"No" Sherlock calmly said and stared at Mycroft.

"Were the masters particularly hard on James?" Rachel returned to the original list of questions.

Sherlock paused for a moment before answering "Not particularly. So you believe he killed himself?" Sherlock asked wondering why this conclusion had been reached.

"We have no reason to suspect otherwise" Mycroft responded. "You weren't in your dorm last night. Where were you?"

"I went for a long walk in the grounds" Sherlock replied truthfully.

"It was freezing" Mycroft said.

"I wore a coat" Sherlock retorted.

Mycroft disliked jousting with his brother when the situation called for seriousness so he said "I know you know what's going on here and I want you to tell me."

"I'm sorry but I can't help you" Sherlock imperturbably responded.

"Can't or won't little brother" Mycroft challenged.

"Nice try but you're not here in your capacity as my brother" Sherlock reminded Mycroft "In fact I don't remember you reading me my rights."

"It's only a few harmless questions unless you have something to hide?" Mycroft remarked.

"Why are you so sure that I'm hiding something?" Sherlock asked. "Unless you're communicating with a Supreme Being, which is a ludicrous idea, I don't understand how you came to that conclusion. Stop digging where there's nothing to dig."

"It's our duty to not leave a stone unturned" Mycroft stated.

"But you have to find the stones first." Sherlock then sighed "Are there any more questions?"

"One question. Who is permitted to use a cane as punishment?" Mycroft asked but Sherlock knew he already knew the answer. Mycroft was asking for another reason, probably to workout his tales.

"The Head Master" Sherlock confirmed "There are canes displayed in most of the classrooms but they are there to serve as a reminder of the penalty for misbehaving as the more effective reminder of mooning each other is a major offence."

"You may go" Mycroft dismissed Sherlock.

"Good bye Rachel. Mycroft it was a pleasure to see you again. We should do this again in another 9 months. I wonder whose body it will be" Sherlock said with humour and then left the classroom.

"He's holding back" Mycroft observed aloud.

"What makes you say that?" Rachel questioned.

"He does what father used to do when he lied. He didn't once move his hands. I am going to have a brotherly chat with him. Stay here and interview the next boy" Mycroft instructed.

* * *

John Watson was playing the piano when Sherlock joined his friends. Sherlock took up a book but put it back down again.

"They're no wiser than before but that's Mycroft. He always wanted to do well in everything but he wasn't good at anything." Sherlock said though he knew the exact opposite was true. Sherlock then looked thankful at John "Thanks for keeping mum, John."

"When Mycroft said the new Head Master seemed like a tyrant I thought he knew" John revealed.

Sherlock scoffed "He knew nothing. He knows nothing. It's just a matter of keeping it that way. My brother is never to know about Dr Nelson."

"So you do know something then" Mycroft interrupted. "What?"

"When did you learn to eavesdrop?" Sherlock's voice dripped with disdain.

"Answer the question" Mycroft ordered.

"It's none of your business" Sherlock retorted and stared down his brother.

"It's my job to make it my business and it will be my duty to take you down to the station if you don't tell me what you know" Mycroft warned Sherlock.

"You're going to have to do that then because I'm not telling you a thing. Personally I don't think you will. Inside of you somewhere you must have some loyalty in you. Though I'm probably thinking too highly of you" Sherlock belittled.

Mycroft turned to John and Greg "Boys can you leave us. I want to talk to my brother alone."

"No we're staying" John said loyally to Sherlock.

Mycroft looked expectantly at Sherlock and Sherlock gave John and Greg a look that said he would be ok if left alone with Mycroft.

Once the boys left, Mycroft turned to Sherlock "Listen to me. I know you're trying to spite me for letting you down recently but you are hindering a police investigation and that will get you into trouble that I can't prevent."

"You are so conceited" Sherlock defended himself.

"And you are so full of misguided loyalty" Mycroft snapped, only his brother could provoke his anger. Mycroft had believed in some part that Sherlock was protecting the school after what he overheard Sherlock say so he said"It's beyond me how father's high-hat code was instilled in your small mind at such an early age. I need to know what has happened here."

"Why do you think you know me so well when you've never taken the trouble to know me?" Sherlock confronted his brother, wanting to hear the actual truth for why his brother couldn't tolerate being in the same room as him.

"You're too much like father" Mycroft said in a voice that betrayed his animosity for his father.

Sherlock felt hurt but swiftly moved on from on it "Are you trying to insult me?" Sherlock joshed and then pointed out "He was a brilliant academic. Don't dishonour…"

Mycroft interrupted "I can't dishonour his memory because you can't disgrace a man who already was a disgrace."

"I can't believe that you would sink this low just so that you can get a result" Sherlock gave Mycroft a look of immense hatred.

"Our father was cold and withholding. It was always criticism and never praise. I saw him drink himself to death." Mycroft thought it was time for Sherlock to hear the facts "That day I told him not to drive and I refused to get into the car. He used to drive like a maniac anyway trying to recreate the thrill of his time in the RAF. Mother never argued over anything unless it was academic debate and you were too young to understand what was going on. That day he killed himself and mother. He almost killed you."

"You're a liar!" Sherlock punched Mycroft in the stomach.

Mycroft bent over and then wheezed "I would never lie about this."

"I was in the car. Remember?" Sherlock then said with the guilt he carried around with him "I know what happened. I was crying in the back. It distracted him."

"Why were you crying?" Mycroft demanded "You never cried." _Unless he was hit_ Mycroft thought. Mycroft's loathing for his father increased. Mycroft then firmly said "The car crashed because our father was drunk. It's in the coroner's report."

"I don't care if you're telling the truth but I damn you for telling me the way you did and why you did" Sherlock said.


	5. Chapter 4

"How did it go?" Rachel asked Mycroft on his return.

"I overheard him say that he knows something about Dr Nelson. But his dislike of me means that he won't talk to me about it." Mycroft said irritated and then confessed "I told him a few home truths that he didn't want to hear."

"You told him about the car crash and your father! Why?" Rachel groaned.

"Because like he said I wanted a result and I didn't care if I hurt him." Mycroft felt a twinge pf pain where Sherlock had hit him "That boy knows how to throw a punch. He's always been theatrical. I'm going to talk to the school nurse."

* * *

Mycroft recalled how to get to the sanatorium and went there to speak to the school nurse, Gladys. School nurses always had the buzz on the going-ons in all-boy boarding schools. They were the nearest thing a boy could get to maternal affection.

"Mycroft Holmes. I'm sure you remember me" Nurse Gladys said.

"How could I forget? The amount of disgusting medicine you made me drink still leaves a taste in the mouth. I don't envy Sherlock in your capable hands." Mycroft said pleasantly.

"I take it that you're here investigating that boy's death. It's a sad business. He was a poor-spirited wretch." Nurse Gladys went on to explain "He liked to play games on the other boys to get them into trouble. To have them caned or tawsed. Sherlock is very gifted and exceptionally bright so he realised what James was doing and tried to thwart his so-called fun. James then stopped the games on what he called the ordinary boys and focused his energies on Sherlock. There's academic competition between them but it's one sided. Sherlock rarely notices people. He doesn't see how bright he is instead he thinks everyone else is idiotic." Nurse Gladys said with a smile. She couldn't help but like Sherlock.

_That sound like Sherlock!_ Mycroft thought. "What happened yesterday between them?" Mycroft asked worried but he kept his worry in check.

"When Sherlock didn't attend his prizing giving yesterday James took center stage and gave a rhyme: _'It's raining, it's pouring, Sherlock is boring. I'm laughing, I'm crying, Sherlock is dying.'_ James was closely beaten by Sherlock to the prize. I think he was jealous. James then started to rant. He said _'I owe you a fall, Sherlock. I. Owe. You. But don't worry: falling's just like flying, except there's a more permanent destination. Staying alive! So boring, isn't it!'_ There was so much anger. It was unnerving." Nurse Gladys bit her lip.

"So he threatened Sherlock's life" Mycroft summed up matter-of-factly but he was scared. "Did Sherlock know this?"

"Yes. I believe John told him so he went out back out for a walk in the rain to avoid James. A master tried to calm James down but he got away. He went back to their dorm trashed Sherlock's belongings and then used Sherlock's dressing gown cord to hang himself. Mr Austin thought he wanted to make it look like Sherlock did it so that he would get the blame for his death."

"That's what Sherlock's hiding. Sherlock feels responsible for James' death" Rachel concluded.

"It's probably a part of it but not all" Mycroft deduced. "My instinct is that there's something more at play here. When you saw the body what made you so sure that it was suicide?" Mycroft asked Nurse Gladys.

"I wasn't. I thought it was an accident." Nurse Gladys clarified "James had a habit of intentionally cutting off oxygen to his brain with the goal of inducing temporary syncope and euphoria. I thought he used Sherlock's dressing gown because of the unhealthy attraction he had to him. As I said he was very focused on Sherlock."

* * *

Sherlock was watching the boys play football. He didn't do sport. The ball was booted off side and it went into a car breaking a light. Greg went after the ball but it was too late. Unfortunately, at that moment, the Head Master ran out of the school livid at the damage on his car.

"I can't believe we're in the shit again" Greg groaned.

"Who did this?" Dr Nelson looked around for a likely culprit "It was you wasn't it?" Dr Nelson pinned down Greg with a stare.

"Prove it" Sherlock said. Greg knew that Sherlock was provoking Dr Nelson to protect him, even if Sherlock didn't realise it himself.

Dr Nelson eyed Sherlock and advanced on him "If I catch you…"

"I won't" Sherlock stated.

"Won't what?" Dr Nelson demanded.

"Let you catch me" Sherlock finished.

"Right to my office" Dr Nelson snapped "That's six …"

"What have I said now?" Sherlock asked.

"Want to make it a dozen?" Dr Nelson offered.

"With pleasure" Sherlock disparaged. John looked at his friend in disbelief.

* * *

Nurse Gladys, Mycroft and Rachel observed the exchange from the window. Dr Nelson looked up and saw that Nurse Gladys was with the police officers. His mouth formed a thin grim line.

Nurse Gladys retreated further into the sanatorium. Her mind was made up "Mycroft, I have to talk to you alone."

"I'll get myself a coffee. Would anyone like one?" Rachel offered. Mycroft shook his head.

Once Rachel had left Nurse Gladys started to express her concerns "Sherlock is surprisingly popular. He protects the younger boys, well actually all boys, from James' games. Sherlock doesn't give into James despite James consistently trying to set him up for a fall. This compiled with Sherlock's complete disregard for rules has lead to Dr Nelson becoming determined to sort out the disciplinary problem that is Sherlock Holmes. Dr Nelson wants to break Sherlock's spirit but Sherlock thinks Dr Nelson is an idiot and so is beneath his notice. Sherlock keeps giving Dr Nelson the opportunity to beat him through thoughtlessness. Sherlock doesn't seem to learn from the punishments though he does seem to fear being sent down."

"I don't understand the problem" Mycroft said. Sherlock always had a problem with authority and in boarding schools that was normally dealt with in one way.

"He was beaten excessively, beyond any sort of reasoning, Mycroft. It was extreme." Nurse Gladys hoped that Mycroft now understood the severity of the situation.

Mycroft stood stiffly, uncomfortable with the idea that his brother was being hurt so he asked "How do you know what happens behind closed doors?"

"John Watson and Greg Lestrade carried him here. I asked him what happened when he was slipping in and out of consciousness. But when he was fully consciousness he denied what had happened. If I make a report without Sherlock supporting the account I'll lose my job." Nurse Gladys explained.

"He's seems his usual self" Mycroft thought aloud. "This can't be true."

"He hides his wounds well" Nurse Gladys refuted. "If you don't believe me ask him to lift up his shirt."

"There should be other signs." Mycroft countered. "My brother doesn't lack confidence or have mood swings. He is just consistently contemptuous and insolent."

"Sherlock has some signs" Nurse Gladys informed Mycroft "Addictiveness. Reckless behaviour. Nightmares."

"Additive to what?" Mycroft was now starting to show some concern.

"Cannabis for one"

Mycroft was for once surprised.

* * *

Greg and Sherlock were standing in Dr Nelson's office waiting to be caned.

"Why couldn't you keep your mouth shut?" Greg said with exasperation "You can't take much more of this. The state we found you in last time really shocked us."

Sherlock sighed "I know it was a shock for you to realise how much Dr Nelson punishes me but I never meant for you to find out. I apologise and I'm thankful for your support."

"Do you have any idea how rehearsed that sounds?" Greg chided his friend.

"No." Sherlock replied truthfully "I just came up with it. I thought it sounded quite good."

"When he's done with me I'm telling your brother. I saw the look he gave you after you cheeked him" Greg warned.

"Whilst my brother's here it won't be too bad" Sherlock reasoned.

"Which is why I have to tell him now" Greg argued.

"I thought you wanted to protect the school" Sherlock smirked.

"You played that line because you knew what it meant to me to come here. A friend's life is more important to me so I say stuff the school. If you were seriously hurt it would be my fault as much as Dr Nelson's because I was silent." Greg was in exasperation at how Sherlock could better stand a beating than friendship. Now he knew how John felt. Sherlock despite his brilliance was an idiot!

"That's nonsense" Sherlock responded lightly.

"I thought it was a façade but you really don't care what happens to you do you?" Greg was worried for Sherlock.

"No I do. I can't hide my own murdered corpse from my own brother" Sherlock joked but before he even tried to workout that puzzle he turned more serious "What would your father do if he found out that you were being punished today through no fault of your own?"

"He'd make sure Dr Nelson was dismissed" Greg answered promptly.

"What if you were getting what I was getting and he found out?" Sherlock posed.

"He'd go after him" Greg again replied without a shadow of a doubt.

"That's why I don't want Mycroft to find out. My brother does reluctantly care about me or at least has a sense of duty" Sherlock explained. "Though I'm not sure for how much longer after he believes that I'm to blame for James. He'll wash his hands of me and I can't quiet face that."

"You're not to blame and your brother will see that" Greg tried to reassure Sherlock. Sherlock scoffed. Greg sighed "So why did you provoke Dr Nelson?"

"I pushed him this far so it should be me to take the heat" Sherlock explained.

Dr Nelson stormed into his office "Sherlock you first. Gregory, I want you watch what happens if you decide to take Sherlock's place as the class clown."

"You're a sick man" Sherlock observed.

"You're heading for another dozen strokes" Dr Nelson warned.

"Why not go for the whole hog and make it two dozen?" Sherlock offered as if he didn't care.

"Sherlock don't!" Greg wanted to stop his friend but it was too late.


	6. Chapter 5

After hearing what Nurse Gladys had to say Mycroft located Rachel in the staff room.

"I need to re-interview Sherlock" Mycroft stipulated.

"Why?" Rachel asked.

"To confirm something Nurse Gladys said" Mycroft elaborated but not by much.

"Mycroft what's wrong?" Rachel was concerned as she had never seen Mycroft like this. He was so normally collected of his emotions but something was seeping through. Rachel couldn't quiet tell what it was.

"Just get him to this room. I need to clear something up. If I bumped into Dr Nelson right now I know I'll do something I might regret" Mycroft started to pace and Mycroft never paced.

* * *

Sherlock was leaning over Dr Nelson's desk. Dr Nelson was caning Sherlock and Sherlock had thick weals on his buttocks. Each stroke fell with an almighty sting but Sherlock took the beating stoically, not fearing the pain though unable to control it. After Dr Nelson finished delivering the final stroke Sherlock straightened up with a smirk. Sweat was pouring from Dr Nelson's brow. He put a lot of energy into the beating.

"I'm not finished with you yet. Get back in the position. Greg fetch the tawse. I want you to deliver the same number of strokes on Sherlock's back" Dr Nelson ordered.

"And if I refuse you'll beat him longer and harder, right?" Greg wanted it confirmed. He had to know he had no choice but to hurt his friend.

"You remembered but I don't like your tone." Dr Nelson cautioned "Your turn with the cane will be next."

"I'm sorry, Sherlock." Greg said and then lifted the weighted tawse over Sherlock's already bruised back and brought it down hard. There was a crack and a well-defined welt formed on Sherlock's back. Sherlock bit back the pain and held his breath. Greg repeated the action over and over again until there was a knock on the door. Greg stopped thankful for whoever knocked on the door.

"Straighten up. Put your jumper back on." Dr Nelson ordered Sherlock. Sherlock did what he was told though the action inflamed the welts on his back. Dr Nelson then said "Come in."

"Dr Nelson, we need to speak to Sherlock again" Rachel said, "Sherlock come with me."

Sherlock didn't want to leave Greg with Dr Nelson.

"Yes of course" Dr Nelson said but then gave a subtle warning to Sherlock "The particular matter of the broken head light can wait." Sherlock took that to mean that Dr Nelson wanted him to participate in Greg's punishment so he left with Rachel confident that Greg wasn't being hurt.

* * *

"I thought I made it clear I didn't want to speak to you" Sherlock sneered at his brother once he had reached the staff room.

"We were told of your feud with James. We have to ask ourselves difficult questions. Why would you hide that? What else are you hiding? Your obstruction to the case is very serious, Sherlock" Mycroft reprimanded.

"Do you think I seriously murdered James? I'm telling the truth that I just went out for a walk. I had to keep one step ahead of him to keep myself out of trouble. I didn't do anything back to him. I certainly wouldn't do this. I didn't want you to think I did this, Mycroft. To think about me that way. His dislike of me didn't bother me – it was just a nuisance, Mycroft." Sherlock was desperate for his brother to believe him. "I never saw this coming. I didn't realise what his state of mind was. He's insane. I was too wrapped up in my own problems. I should've done more. I see that now." Sherlock slinked back in his chair but learned forward again with the pain in his back. He expected to be condemned by Mycroft. He went through last night's events in his head. There must be something there to prove his innocence. His brother was right about him - he was stupid and he was a disappointment. He had to get into focus and think better, he had to narrow down the answer. As he reflected he realised there was something off but he couldn't pin point it. His head was too cloud with the intense throbbing pain in his back and buttocks, but also emotion.

"Sherlock, I believe you" Mycroft stated without any real feeling. Sherlock look up and assessed his brother did actually in fact believe him. He felt his breathing get easier. Mycroft then got to the crux of what he was concerned about "What problems do you have that made this look trivial?"

"Mock exams" Sherlock said. It was a plausible lie and the best he could come up with given the pain he was in.

"I thought you might have come up with something believable. Tell me about Dr Nelson" Mycroft ordered.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Sherlock said but he felt cornered by Mycroft. There was an air of certainty there.

"Really, Sherlock?" Mycroft examined his brother looking for the cracks. Sherlock hated that cocksureness in Mycroft's voice.

"You have to believe it" Sherlock asserted his hope.

"Turn around and lift your shirt" Mycroft demanded.

That confirmed it. Mycroft knew. Sherlock hated that Mycroft knew and his voice was full of antagonism "Or what? You'll use police brutality. I thought you took a stance against that sort of thing. This is absurd!"

"Sherlock, before you leave this room you're going to prove to me that you're hiding nothing. So lift your shirt." Mycroft repeated his demand.

"You're impossible" Sherlock reached for the door. Mycroft grabbed Sherlock's wrist and twisted his arm behind his back and forced him over the table. Mycroft lifted up Sherlock's jumper and shirt. Mycroft was stunned by the sheer number of welts and bruises on his brother's torso. Rachel was in shock. Sherlock then mocked what had been done to him "Its character training".

Mycroft let Sherlock go and then asked "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't turn up and I enjoyed getting a rise out of him." Sherlock then looked at his brother in the eye "Don't pretend to care." Sherlock went to leave but Mycroft blocked his way "LET ME GO!" Sherlock shouted.

"No" Mycroft simply said.

"You thought I've deserved a thrashing for some time. You got your wish" Sherlock bowed and then dismissed Mycroft "This is my problem not yours. I can handle it. Just forget about it. You're good at that."

"This concerns me" Mycroft affirmed. "You really can't think much of me if you think I'm going to turn a blind eye to this. You're my brother"

"I'm nothing to you apart from an answer to a case" Sherlock derided "Let's face it, you wished that I had died in the crash so that you can live with a little bit more inheritance and concentrate on your career without having to care about a little dependent. I'm just a burden to you."

"No. I recognise that I failed you and I want to do something about that. If I had come here sooner I could've found out sooner that you weren't safe. I do care about you, Sherlock."

"Stop lying. This is all about you. The only reason you give a damn now is that you feel like you failed in your parental responsibilities and you can't stand failure from anyone let alone yourself. But you haven't failed me. This has nothing to do with you. Go back to your life. You don't want me in it." Sherlock then pushed passed Mycroft and made his exit.

"You told me once or perhaps twice that I would regret my actions in regards to Sherlock and I do. I've been negligent." Mycroft admitted and then asked Rachel "Do you think he'll forgive me?"

"In time" Rachel tried to give Mycroft hope.

"But how can I forgive myself?" Mycroft wondered but he knew how quickly guilt could pass.

"This is Dr Nelson's fault" Rachel pointed out "Only Dr Nelson's fault and I swear he won't get away with it."

Sherlock left the staff room and went to class. He was barely in class for five minutes when Dr Nelson's secretary called him out. Sherlock rolled his eyes he'd forgotten about the rest of his punishment and Greg. Sherlock followed the secretary back to Dr Nelson's office.

As soon as Sherlock was alone with Dr Nelson and Greg, Dr Nelson started to browbeat Sherlock "Your brother went from you to Nurse Gladys back to you. Why?"

"I haven't the foggiest" Sherlock shrugged.

"You will tell me in the end" Dr Nelson guaranteed.

Sherlock shook his head "I don't think I will."

"Bend over. Faster" Dr Nelson ordered. Sherlock bent over the chair, braced himself and gripped the edges. Dr Nelson had the tawse in his hand "What does he know?"

"I have no idea" Sherlock said and he received a series of blows with the tawse from Dr Nelson. Sherlock tried hard to block out the pain but he felt each painful blow. Sherlock was barely lifting himself up by the time Dr Nelson was done. Sherlock fell forwards.

"Get up you wimp. Tell me what he said" Dr Nelson demanded. Sherlock again shook his head.

"Please leave him alone. Can't you see he's had enough" Greg interjected before Dr Nelson resumed beating Sherlock but the pleas fell on deaf ears.

"I'm teaching the imbecile a lesson. You better leave if you can't stomach it. I'm going to see the last of his cheek." Dr Nelson said lost in his determination to break the spirit of Sherlock Holmes. Greg took the opportunity to get Mycroft.

"Well I haven't turned the other one yet" Sherlock smirked.

Dr Nelson discarded the tawse and used his fists to pummel Sherlock. The blows came fast and heavy, Sherlock felt every painful impact on his already bruised body. Dr Nelson shouted over him "Fight back. I want the excuse to expel you."

"One day we're going to meet some place that isn't here" Sherlock avowed, through his pain.

"James knew about these beatings. He was going to blackmail me. So I killed him using your dressing gown cord hoping they would think it was you. They think its suicide. It makes no difference to me as long as I'm free and now I can do the same to you. No-one would care not even your brother" Dr Nelson started to strangle Sherlock.

Mycroft then entered Dr Nelson's office and pointed his gun at Dr Nelson. It was unusual for British Police Officers to hold guns but he was an active officer in counter terrorism and organised crime. Mycroft disliked guns but sometimes they proved useful. "Get away from my brother. Stand in the corner." Mycroft then knelt by Sherlock and told him "Sherlock you're safe. He's never going to hurt you again."

"He said he killed James. But it doesn't make sense…" Sherlock said but he was fading. He couldn't think. Sherlock then started to fit.

"Rachel, call an ambulance." Mycroft ordered Rachel and then turned to Sherlock "Don't you dare die on me. God, I won't let you take this one."


	7. Chapter 6

Mycroft was sitting beside Sherlock's hospital bed reading the Daily Telegraph. Sherlock was coming around and so Mycroft put the paper to one side.

"You gave me a scare for quite a while" Mycroft informed Sherlock. "My patience was wearing thin."

"I'm sorry to have bothered you" Sherlock insincerely apologised noting the newspaper in Mycroft's hand. It was out of duty that Mycroft was here.

"Sherlock, there's something I have to tell you. Moriarty's body has gone missing." Sherlock could detect that Mycroft was embarrassed though it was well covered "It disappeared on the way to the morgue. All we've got are the initial photo shots of the body. We don't have enough to convict Dr Nelson but my colleagues will want to interview you regardless."

Sherlock almost laughed but it was too painful. Sherlock croaked "He isn't dead." Sherlock knew that Jim Moriarty had set him up. Him and Dr Nelson. The mentor had outlived its usefulness and therefore was discarded. Sherlock had seen the pieces of the puzzle fall into place whilst high on morphine.

"What are you talking about?" Mycroft asked. He had suspected the same thing once Sherlock had hinted at what he knew. Mycroft gave Sherlock some water so that he could talk more easily.

But Sherlock was having second thoughts revealing to Mycroft his thoughts. He felt that Mycroft wouldn't believe him and he didn't have the energy to explain so Sherlock replied "Nothing."

Mycroft didn't push, his brother was in too fragile a state, so he gave the next news he had to give to Sherlock "Dr Nelson has been charged for what he's done to you but you will have to testify against him for him to be punished for what he did."

"Why?" Sherlock asked.

"I thought you were smart" Mycroft belittled, thinking that his brother was now being deliberately annoying. "What he did was Grievous Bodily Harm" Mycroft pointed out the obvious.

Sherlock didn't see it that way so he humbly said "When he was beating me I felt clever because I broke his self-righteous act."

Mycroft now understood that what Sherlock was getting at so he said "Some people at work use violence to find answers. I don't and it's not because I lack the energy." Mycroft said correcting a wayward vibe from Sherlock "Violence produces fabrication. The end does not justify the means and as a means it hardly ever achieves the right result. Sherlock, I know you can get on someone's nerve faster than anyone I know but there are certain things a person just doesn't do. You don't beat a 15 year boy to an inch of its life."

This was the longest that Sherlock had heard Mycroft speak. Sherlock was sure he was after something. His resentment gave him energy to joust with his brother. "Why are you here?" Sherlock asked as if he was bored.

"Where else would I be?" Mycroft countered.

"I'm not testifying against Dr Nelson. You're wasting your time here and you can't force me to" Sherlock looked determinedly at Mycroft.

"I'm not here for that. I'm here because you're my brother and you took a hammering" Mycroft stated but Sherlock didn't believe it.

"When am I going back to school?" Sherlock asked. It was the only home he knew after his parents had died.

"I'm not letting you go back there. That's my final word on the subject" Mycroft said in a voice that backed the finality.

"You can't do that. It's not your decision to make" Sherlock argued in a sullen tone.

"Actually it is" Mycroft's guardedness was dropping, he was deeply troubled for Sherlock.

"If I'm not boarding it will cramp your style." Sherlock then ridiculed "Well what little style you have."

"I've almost lost you twice. It's not going to happen again. Me and you are the only ones left. We have to stick together" Mycroft finally said some words that his brother could take comfort in.

Sherlock began to believe that Mycroft might actually genuinely care for him so he said "That went without saying for me."

"Go back to sleep" Mycroft had had enough of sentimentality. He cared very much for Sherlock and he had been very frightened of losing his brother but Mycroft didn't know how to show that he cared. It wasn't his thing and Sherlock probably would laugh at it. But for Sherlock the coldness hit him like a hurricane. Nothing had changed.

* * *

Rachel decided to visit the Holmes brothers. They didn't have many people in their lives. They barely had each other.

Rachel walked up to Mycroft and softly said "How is he?"

"Physically: he'll be fine in a few weeks. Mentally: there are questions." Mycroft updated her as if he was updating her on a case. "He needs to see a therapist. I think it's a waste of time. Sherlock is Sherlock." Mycroft looked at the vulnerable state his brother was in and then confessed "I look at him lying there and I want to show some kind of affection but…"

"Why don't you?" Rachel encouraged.

"Because he would rather have me spit at him than to have me show him any kind of warmth" Mycroft went on to say.

"At the end of this your relationship with him is going to be stronger" Rachel wished rather than believed that she was right.

"I don't think so" Mycroft concluded.

"Anna and John are taking over the case" Rachel notified him.

"Yes. Actually, I recommended the case to be re-looked at. I don't know why I went out on a date with her. It'll complicate things" Mycroft admitted to Rachel.

"Yes you do" Rachel responded with a smile that showed she didn't hold a grudge "She's a stunner and she offered herself to you on a plate."

* * *

Anna Colins had felt scorned after Mycroft told her that going out with her had been a regrettable mistake. As she entered the hospital with John MacBeth to question Sherlock she voiced her tainted suspicions "Personally, I think they wanted it to look like suicide to get Sherlock out of the frame."

But John knew how Anna felt so set her straight "Lets not speculate. I'm not going to let you use the boy as pay back."

Mycroft met his colleagues with a cold glare "Anna. John. When you're interviewing Sherlock I'll be present as his guardian. Sherlock, my colleagues want to ask you a few questions. You don't have to answer them if you don't want to." Sherlock felt a stab of pain as he sat up. Mycroft was concerned "Maybe this could wait."

"Stop fussing like an old woman" Sherlock rebuked.

"Fine" Mycroft conceded. "But any hard questioning will be postponed."

Anna cracked on with her questions "Around the time of James' death you were unaccounted for. Can you tell me where you were?"

"I went for a walk. I needed the air. Mycroft, I'm disappointed that you haven't written up your case notes" Sherlock took the opportunity to berate his brother "It would save me the time to …"

"Sherlock Holmes, please behave." Mycroft warned but he couldn't help thinking the same thing. Anna was treading on ground already covered. This had not been what he intended when he said the case should be re-looked at.

"How were you feeling at the time?" Anna followed up.

"Dispirited and so I didn't have the capacity to deal with Moriarty at that point in time. It sort of hurt to be brushed aside for a burglar or murderer again." Anna looked for a moment sheepish, Mycroft slightly shifted his balance and Sherlock's quick mind worked out the real reason why Mycroft had failed to turn up so he said sardonically "Mycroft didn't tell me he had chosen a night with you over a rather dull ceremony. Anna, I'm handsomer, fitter and brighter than Mycroft. If I promise not to dump you after one date will you go out with me?"

"Don't play around with me" Anna warned. Both Mycroft and John looked at her as a warning to calm down. Anna persisted on her line of questioning "We understand that you didn't like James."

"I guess that's a no then" Sherlock quipped but then corrected Anna's assumption "I didn't dislike James I was indifferent to him but James did not like me."

"Why?" John asked.

"Because I foiled his plans to make people's lives miserable." The annoyance was apparent in Sherlock's voice. He hated to repeat anything.

"We heard he often tried to get you into trouble. You weren't in the least bit revengeful about this?" John inquired.

"No. I had to be vigilant and I took steps to protect myself. It was diverting to guess what James would do next and out manoeuvre him." Sherlock felt another stab of pain, only this time it wasn't ebbing away. Sherlock continued "Only people with limited intelligence use violence to solve their problems."

"Can anyone back where you were? Your alibi is bizarre to say the least" Anna said pointedly.

"Sherlock isn't a suspect so treat my brother with respect" Mycroft this time verbally warned Anna and then asked meaningfully "Have you found the body yet?"

"Mycroft, stop being parental it doesn't suit you." Sherlock then reluctantly expanded on his alibi "There's a vagrant. He's gets nervous around anyone in uniform. It startles him. If you question him go gentle."

"Crazy Charlie?" Mycroft asked, he wasn't surprised that Sherlock had gotten to know someone who was just as peculiar.

"He's not crazy. He's traumatized." Sherlock enlightened them "When he came home from war he had no place to go so he went to where he was before the war to get his bearings. He went back to school. Twenty years later he's still trying to figure out what to do."

Sherlock bent over in pain.

"Take it easy" Mycroft said to his brother. "This interview is over" Mycroft then told John and Anna.

"What about his allegation?" Anna protested and then asked "Sherlock, you said Dr Nelson admitted to killing James. Can you elaborate on that?"

"Can't you ask him?" Sherlock snapped. Sherlock then collapsed and Mycroft called for help.


	8. Chapter 7

Philip Moriarty was devastated by his son's death. He couldn't even mourn over a body. The only way that Dr Nelson would see justice was if Sherlock Holmes testified against him. But the boy had already refused. He knew he had to try and get him to change his mind. It was his only hope.

Philip Moriarty waited until Mycroft Holmes ended his bedside vigil over Sherlock. Once he was sure Sherlock was alone he made his move.

"The police say you're not going to testify. Is that right?" Philip Moriarty demanded an answer.

"Yes sir" was Sherlock's honest reply.

"But you're the only one he told the truth too. He killed my boy. Look at what he did to you." Philip Moriarty clearly displayed the desperation he was feeling.

"There's no point." Sherlock reasoned "It's my word against his. They won't believe me. They'll call me a liar. I would call me a liar"

"That's the defence's job. The judge will believe you" Philip Moriarty urged.

"You don't get it. Well, of course you don't. He's got friends in high places. I don't mind losing but I never take up a completely lost cause" Sherlock tried to explain further. In the future this may change but right now he was still a student.

"SO YOU WON'T EVEN TRY!" Philip Moriarty shouted at Sherlock. Sherlock recoiled at the anger Philip Moriarty emanated, he was already in a weakened state and being shouted at was the last thing he needed.

"What's going on here?" Mycroft walked into the situation calmly but was unhappy that Philip Moriety was threatening his brother. Mycroft no longer slept at the hospital but he did spend the rest of his day taking care of Sherlock even though his presence urked his brother.

"They say he won't testify" Philip Moriarty accused.

"That's correct and you're not going to bully him into it" Mycroft didn't need to use violence to be intimidating. His hard cold no-nonsense exterior did it for him.

"Your brother is a coward" Philip Moriarty spat.

"Let's not trade insults" Mycroft advised. "You're son will come worse off. Please remove your presence away from me and my brother."

Philip Moriarty stormed out of the hospital. Sherlock wondered why Jim Moriarty had put his family through a bogus death. He was obviously loved. _Was it that he just wanted to cut ties so that he could realise his dream of becoming a master criminal?_

"Your House Master is visiting you today against my better judgement. I will however be present" Mycroft's voice left no room for a compromise.

* * *

"You look terrible, Mr Austin" Sherlock observed.

"I feel terrible. If you had told me I'd had done something" Mr Austin swore.

How Mycroft wasn't buying it "Are you expecting me to believe that you didn't have the slightest inclination that something was wrong?"

"I look upon each student in my house as one of my own boys. I like to think I know their character and have their best interests at heart. I can honestly tell you that I had no idea what Sherlock was going through. I put Sherlock's visible injuries to the rough and tumble of growing up" Mr Austin explained.

"I don't believe you. My brother doesn't do rough and tumble" Mycroft said flatly. He wondered if Mr Austin had let it go on because he thought it was 'character training'.

"I did fail in my duty to look after Sherlock. I should have known. To think that every time I sent you to him he would do something like that to you. I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry" Mr Austin apologised.

"You have nothing to feel sorry for. I did my best to hide it" Sherlock readily forgave mainly because he didn't care. He was tired of people feeling guilty around him. He was mostly tired of Mycroft feeling guilty. What he wanted was his violin. Music was always helped him to think and the morphine's effects of sharpening his mind was now dulling it.

"Sherlock, you'll always be welcome back to St Martins. There will always be a place for you. You're an asset to the school." Mr Austin began saying.

"He's not going back" Mycroft said unequivocally.

"That's isn't totally decided yet" Sherlock commented.

"If anyone knows how strong your powers of reasoning are it's me and I'm sure you can win around your brother." Mr Austin looked delighted at the thought of having Sherlock back. Then left thinking that he had achieved what he set out to.

"I don't care how strong your powers of reasoning are, you're not going back" Mycroft repeated.

"Dictatorships are often short-lived you know. The oppressed always rise against the oppressor" Sherlock pointed out.

"Well you would know all about that" Mycroft responded.

* * *

John and Greg decided to visit Sherlock. They felt guilty for happened to him especially Greg who was the last to be forced in hurting his friend. It was for this reason that Sherlock declined to see them. Mycroft also felt that Sherlock wasn't physically fit to be seen. Sherlock had taken a turn for the worse trying to do without morphine.

"I heard he's going to be Ok. I just wanted to see for myself. Actually, both us did" Greg said. "I heard he isn't coming back"

"He won't completely recover if goes back. I won't be able to keep an eye on him" Mycroft stated.

"I know we should've said something the first time it happened" John confessed.

"Were there many others?" Mycroft asked. He knew this was not a one-off occasion where Dr Nelson had got carried away with punishing Sherlock but he had hoped that this was just one of a handful of times that his brother had been so badly hurt. He hoped that what Nurse Gladys had said to him was an exaggeration to get his attention. But deep down he knew it wasn't. He however wanted it confirmed.

"Yeah. He made us watch. He kept mocking Sherlock every time he reacted to the pain. Kept using us against him" Greg said in disgust at Dr Nelson.

"Just take the lessons that you've learned from this through life" Mycroft said benevolently.

The boys already knew that. Greg was determined to become a police officer after school so that he could stop the likes of Dr Nelson from hurting others. Likewise John Watson wanted to become a doctor so that he could heal the pain he had seen so viciously inflicted on others. What best than to become an Army doctor.

"Sherlock seemed to have a habit of putting himself in the firing line all the time" John began to explain. Whilst John thought that Sherlock was an idiot he was also a very brave man. He wanted Mycroft to respect Sherlock even if he couldn't love him "He was protecting us in his own way. He didn't even know he was doing it. The whole school was afraid, Dr Nelson made it his mission to induce fear into everyone, but Sherlock didn't know he should be afraid."

"Everything comes easy to Sherlock including trouble" Mycroft said dismissively.

"I think he was trying to be like you" John said what he had worked out a long time ago "The same cool defiance that you used to defend him from your parents."

"I had no idea Sherlock remembered" Mycroft responded.

"He remembers most things of importance. How you badgered your father to sort himself out. How your father pushed you down a flight of stairs for your troubles. How your father tried to sort himself out after catching a glimpse of what he had become but couldn't" John told Mycroft "It's going to be a tough job putting Sherlock back together but you can't run afterwards. It will just break him all over again." John continued more forthrightly. Someone had to fight for Sherlock where Mycroft was concerned.

"My relationship with my brother doesn't concern you Mr Watson" Mycroft said tautly.

"He's my best friend" John responded heatedly to Mycroft's indifference.

"John" Greg tried to urge John to keep cool.

"No this needs to be said. You really hate your father don't you?"

"He was useless and tiresome" Mycroft's tone of voice signalled his dislike but only slightly.

It was all John needed to continue "Then you're never going to stop looking at Sherlock with hate and he won't understand that hate isn't for him. Sherlock was broken long before this. He barely talks. He doesn't eat. Sherlock believes his brother hates him for his resemblance to his father. You keep telling him he's too much like him but Sherlock only remembers a moody drunk. Sherlock believes he's as bad as father was because his big brother keeps saying so."

"He's too block-headed for that. Besides I meant his arrogance, flippancy and eccentricity but I know he's got a good heart too" Mycroft acknowledged but then added "somewhere."

"You don't need to tell me that he has a good heart. You need to tell Sherlock." John gave up. The Holmes boys were as stubborn as one another and he was wasting his time with Mycroft "We better go. We had to sneak out of school during break to get here and we have to sneak back."

"Good luck" Mycroft said.

* * *

Dr Nelson was hovering over Sherlock in his hospital bed when Sherlock woke up startled "Still having nightmares about me". Sherlock couldn't deny that he wasn't having night terrors of Dr Nelson beating him, so he said "What are doing here?"

"Seeing how the nemesis of my prodigy is doing. I'm his mentor. It's been fun seeing you dance. Don't worry it will all be over soon. But who will mourn you. Nobody loves you. Nobody care for you. Contemptible of the simplest emotions. That's why I used your friends. So alone." Dr Nelson confirmed Sherlock's suspicions. Sherlock understood how dangerous and manipulative Dr Nelson was, and so he was glad he was alone as it protected him. Dr Nelson collected students to do his bidding. Sherlock had worked it out and therefore had to be destroyed. The world had to know how malevolent Dr Nelson was. They had to be on guard. Sherlock knew he had to testify.

"If you don't want me to testify you'll have to kill me now. Go on. There's no-one watching. Do it." Sherlock taunted Dr Nelson. Dr Nelson advanced on him. Sherlock sat up straight ready for him. "But I won't let you kill me. You're going to have to try harder than what you've done previously. Give it your best shot." Dr Nelson went to punch Sherlock, Sherlock deflected the punch and kicked him in the stomach "It's not that easy to beat me up when I'm allowed to fight back. I said one day we would meet some place that isn't your school. That day is today and that place is here." Sherlock gave Dr Nelson two more kicks in the stomach before calling for the security guards to take Dr Nelson away.

* * *

Mycroft had heard and seen on the cameras that he had planted by Sherlock's bed that Dr Nelson had come for his brother. He suspected that brother would be targeted again at some point and he was pleased that the second attack had persuaded Sherlock to go to court. Mycroft like Sherlock had worked out that Dr Nelson and James Moriarty had been playing each other. Who could destroy Sherlock Holmes first. It was Dr Nelson that had started the game even though James Moriarty was the better player and had used his mentor and opposition for his own advantage. The game had backfired on Dr Nelson, turned him irrational, and Mycroft knew James would take over the network Dr Nelson had created.

Mycroft knew that Sherlock worried about Dr Nelson's contacts so he had some news to tell Sherlock "I've been healing the family rift with our grandfather. There's going to be a level playing field in that court room."

"Why haven't I met him before now?" Sherlock asked.

"He cheated on grandmother and favoured the golf course over his son" Mycroft explained simply.

"So it's hereditary then?" Sherlock smirked.

Behind Mycroft was a man in a suit with a brief case. Sherlock didn't need to be Sherlock to deduct that the man in front of him was a lawyer. It was soon confirmed.

Mycroft made the introductions "Sherlock this is Albert the family's lawyer. He'll be advising us going forward."

"Please to meet you, sir" Sherlock mocked knowing that it would be Mycroft who would be doing the advising and that the lawyer would be his mouth piece.


	9. Chapter 8

Sherlock had just testified in court against Dr Nelson and he was being crossed examined by the defense. It was a tedious process but he felt exposed.

"This is all sounds very shocking but is it very relevant." The defense argued "We just heard in graphic detail about your beatings but you said they happened when you were sent to the headmaster's office. What were the specific incidents?"

"For quoting Trevelyan and Adams as well as smoking pot" Sherlock answered directly. Cannabis was the only thing that made him feel chilled out, relaxed and happy. Other times it helped him to solve puzzles by becoming more aware of his senses and feeling that time had slowed down. He had needed to understand what Dr Nelson and Jim Moriarty had been up to. But he become addicted through long use. He had gone through withdrawl suffering weight loss and difficulty sleeping. But now morphine had introduced an even bigger hit and he was suffering again.

"For quoting Trevelyan and Adams you were beaten" The defence said disbelievingly. "What were the quotes?"

"The quotes were _'Education has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading' _and '_Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts'_" Sherlock smirked. He lived by the latter quote.

"So it was for impudence and drug taking" The defense said pointedly. "What evidence do you have that the beatings were outside the norm?"

"I have the scars" Sherlock had thought them hideous, he hated catching a glimpse of them in the mirror and thought no-one else could want to look at them either without feeling repulsed by him. He would never share his body with anyone because of what had been done to him.

"Scars tell us nothing." The defense ridiculed "I still have the marks from when I was given six of the best." Sherlock knew that was a lie. The defense continued "Weren't the beatings just like what any naughty schoolboy would have been given for impudence and drugs?" The defense posed.

"No sir, I expected to be punished but just like any other student" Sherlock explained.

"Would you say you were the model student?" The defense pressed.

"I think we've just heard that I'm not, sir" Sherlock said contemptuously.

"So your character is rotten?" The defense pressed again.

"That's not for me to decide." Sherlock's voice was terse. Sherlock felt he was being judged on whether or not he deserved the beatings. He already felt that he did. He felt that Mycroft did. They were missing the point. This was about Dr Nelson. But their slow minds didn't see what he saw.

"I reckon that you're as bad as they come and Dr Nelson did his duty by you by trying to correct your immoral ways." The defense summed up "That's all your Honour. I've finished with him."

Sherlock walked out of the court room but then broke out into a run knowing that his testimony wasn't enough to put Dr Nelson away for long, if at all. Dr Nelson would have the chance to prey on other children like Jim Moriarty. He felt that he had failed. Sherlock ran until he suddenly dropped to his knees. Sherlock was crying. Sherlock never cried.

A jolly large man came over to him "Are you ok, son?"

"I will be" Sherlock said determinedly.

"Is there anything I can get you?" The man offered.

"My parents would be nice. But I think I have to go to them" Sherlock cryptically answered. Sherlock got up off the pavement and continued walking to his permanent destination.

Mycroft had been waiting for his brother to finish his turn in the witness box. He hadn't realised that Sherlock had walked right by him until the next witness, John Watson, had been called. Mycroft went after him.

He started to ask people at random "Have you seen a young lad? Brown curly hair. Tall."

Finally the large man who Sherlock had bumped into told Mycroft that the young lad he had seen had said he was off to meet his parents. Mycroft knew exactly what that meant. He started to run in the direction that the man had seen Sherlock heading. He finally found Sherlock on a bridge. But he was even more surprised to see Jim Moriarty standing a distance away with a wide grin on his face. The grin was taunting Sherlock to fall from the bridge. Sherlock was staring at him. Jim Moriarty had set a series of events in motion so that his brother would commit suicide.

Sherlock then called to him "You won! I'm dying. I'm falling. Sherlock is boring. Dying is liberating."

Mycroft knew he had to fight for Sherlock "Sherlock, come back over the railing this instant. You held up well. You don't need to do this. You never had it easy. I never made it easy for you. All of that is getting to you and it may feel unbearable right now but it will pass. I know you want it to be over but there are other ways to deal with this."

"Isn't that what you're trained to say?" Sherlock spat his question. Sherlock laughed at Moriarty's face when Moriarty realised that Sherlock was being given one last chance at life. Sherlock wasn't sure if he wanted it though. He was ready to throw in the towel.

"This isn't funny, Sherlock" Mycroft admonished.

"No. I said it was liberating. All I need to do is let go and a mistake will be corrected. I should have died in the crash. I know it and you know it. Ever since then I've been a nuisance to you" Sherlock then continued laughing. It was all so funny. He had danced and now he would fall.

"Sherlock, don't be so selfish" Mycroft said firmly. The authority ozzing from him. It annoyed Sherlock to see it. Mycroft then pleaded "I've lost everyone and now you're going to make me watch you die."

"I'll wait until you're gone" Sherlock offered.

Mycroft had enough he reached out for his brother and pulled him over the rail. Mycroft held tightly on Sherlock who was now giving into tears. He knew that Sherlock would hate himself later for crying in front of him but right now that didn't matter. Mycroft saw Moriarty mouth _'I owe you a fall, Sherlock. I. Owe. You.' _Moriarty then walked away. Mycroft knew that Moriarty would come back for Sherlock - the one who got away. But when he did Mycroft would be waiting.

"It's always what you want" Sherlock bitterly said.

"I couldn't let you do that. You can hate me as much as you want" Mycroft defended his actions.

"So what happens now? You pass me over to some shrink in some mental hospital?" Sherlock wanted to know.

"No but I'm keeping an closer eye on you from now on" Mycroft promised.

Sherlock took that as a challenge.


	10. Chapter 9

**One year later**

Rachel had a pram beside her as she waited for Mycroft in a bistro. Mycroft took the seat opposite her.

"Long time no see. How's the job going?" Rachel was referring to Mycroft's secondment to MI5.

"As expected. I can't really elaborate" Mycroft stated.

Rachel suspected as much so she enquired "How's Sherlock?"

"He still has nightmares but I no longer have to watch him around the clock … he's no longer suicidal. When it was over it was like his mind died because it no longer had to fight two people trying to break it. Then to stimulate it he turned to cocaine having caught a flavour for something stronger than cannabis in hospital. I suspect he was trying to stop the nightmares too. His addiction is under control now after he realised that solving puzzles were more interesting than hallucinations but he still smokes like a chimney. Disgusting habit." Mycroft said knowing that he had sneaked the odd cigarette here and there.

"Did he try therapy?" Rachel asked hoping that Sherlock had gone in the end.

"He went to a therapist but he never spoke and just stared at the clock. I told you it was a waste of time. But academically he's doing well. Wants to put his knowledge of experimenting with drugs accredited - he's studying chemistry." Mycroft gave Rachel a thorough update. He felt that he owed it to her after she was the one who had first seen how much help Sherlock needed from him and he still felt guilty that he didn't give that help in time to save Sherlock from any real pain.

"At least Dr Nelson saw some time thanks to the cameras you planted in the hospital." Rachel said kindly. "I would never wish what you and Sherlock are going through on anyone."

"You've always been good to me." Mycroft then changed the subject to what Rachel was doing in life. It was more likely to be cheerier ground "I heard you got married and I see you got a chappy. How old is he?"

"13 months and I didn't go through with the marriage" Rachel informed Mycroft.

"He wasn't right for you." Mycroft had previously assessed and was pleased that Rachel had reached the same conclusion in time, so he said "I'm glad you didn't marry but he'll miss his father."

Rachel shifted uncomfortably. She then turned to the real reason why she contacted Mycroft.

"I thought I should warn you. Bill Day is out" Rachel said.

"I know" Mycroft replied.

"Then please be careful" Rachel requested. She loved Mycroft but he was very difficult to love and therefore she couldn't be in a relationship with Mycroft. He never let anyone close having shared a fearful, distant and unaffectionate relationship with his father and mother. Mycroft didn't trust and didn't express emotion, he would also never recognise how much he had suffered. Sherlock in turn had suffered from Mycroft and Rachel wouldn't allow that for her own child. Mycroft's child.

* * *

Bill Day was walking towards Mycroft. Sherlock saw Bill Day with had a gun. Bill Day started to shoot at Mycroft.

Mycroft fell to the floor wounded in his chest. He shouted an instruction to Sherlock "Run. Get help."

But Sherlock didn't listen. Sherlock went to tackle Bill Day. Bill Day started to punch Sherlock in the stomach. Sherlock had now learnt self-defence to build his confidence up and so that he would never again be so vulnerable to physical attack. Sherlock knocked Bill Day out. Sherlock went over to Mycroft and called an ambulance.

Mycroft admonished Sherlock "I told you to get help. You're bleeding. Again."

"I'm ok. I've had worse." Sherlock reassured Mycroft. But Mycroft wasn't reassured he just felt guilt at Sherlock's words. Never again would Sherlock be so vulnerable.

The ambulance was coming towards them and Sherlock flagged them down.

As the paramedics worked on Mycroft, Mycroft said "My brother needs help." He knew that Sherlock had a habit of hiding his needs.

"Shut up and save your strength. They need to focus on you" Sherlock retorted. Sherlock despised Mycroft when he acted like mother "Can I come with him?" Sherlock asked the paramedics.

The paramedics assented and Sherlock rode with him.

"You look concerned." Mycroft observed "I thought you abhorred me."

"That's too strong a word. I just can't let you get too close. You were never reliable" Sherlock gently criticised.

"That's the first time I've seen you truly alive since the court case" Mycroft said disappointedly. He hoped that one day Sherlock would grow out of his recklessness but he suspected that Moriarty's words still haunted his brother _'Staying alive! So boring, isn't it!' _Sherlock needed adventure. The boy who tried to be dead to his feelings, who declared that to love was human error, had a very big heart. But yet the only thing Sherlock had ever truly shown affection for was the family dog.

"I have a talent for keeping my head under pressure." Sherlock boasted "It's why I going to be the first consulting detective."

"Is that even a job?" Mycroft scoffed but he then thought at least it was marginally better than a pirate or a dragon slayer.

"I invented it." Sherlock said proudly.

* * *

Rachel ran into the hospital with her baby. She saw Sherlock. "I just heard. Is he ok?" Rachel wiped the tears falling from her eyes. Sherlock didn't know how to deal with the overt display of emotion but then Rachel mumbled "Will I ever get the chance to tell him."

"Tell him what" Sherlock demanded.

"That I love him" Rachel answered.

Sherlock then assessed the situation. He quickly deduced the mystery Rachel was hiding "This is Mycroft's son isn't it?"

Rachel had to explain "I didn't know if he had sufficiently changed enough to be a good father. I know he hasn't and he never will. Sherlock, I can't be with Mycroft. You won't saying anything will you?"

Sherlock nodded his head in agreement but said "He loves you. He's just too stupid and stubborn enough not to show it."


	11. Chapter 10

Sherlock had lived at 221b Baker Street since he graduated from university with an Applied Chemistry degree.

Mycroft rang on the door bell and Mrs Hudson opened. Mycroft coolly introduced himself "Good morning, Mrs Hudson. I'm the other Holmes."

"You mean there's two of you? How marvellous!" Mrs Hudson exclaimed and let Mycroft in.

Mycroft made his way to his brother's bedroom. As predicted, Sherlock was lying on his bed fast asleep with his limbs spread out awkwardly.

"Sherlock, wake up!" Mycroft nudged his brother.

"What?" Sherlock mumbled half-sleepily. It was too early to face Mycroft.

"Sherlock" Mycroft warned.

"No. I'm tired" Sherlock said pulling the covers around him tighter.

Mycroft was irritated. Sherlock knew how important today was "Sherlock, get out of bed. This is a matter of national importance. Grow up!" Mycroft started to tug on Sherlock's covers.

"Get off my duvet!" Sherlock snapped.

"Or what?" Mycroft dared.

"I'M NAKED" Sherlock shouted indignant.

"I know!" Mycroft smirked, fully aware how the scars humiliated Sherlock.

"What do you want?" Sherlock didn't know why Mycroft had needed him when he was always better at observation and deduction. Sherlock suspected that Mycroft just wanted to give him a challenge so that his sleeping drug habit wasn't reawakened. Cases had been drying up recently. But Sherlock wasn't going to allow Mycroft to molly coddle him.

"MI5 needs a consulting detective. For my sins, I recommended you and this is how you repay me" Mycroft was getting more and more irritated by Sherlock's slothfulness.

"Mycroft, I can't" Sherlock mumbled and then closed his eyes.

"Why not? You help Lestrade" Mycroft said exasperatedly.

"It's different" Sherlock shrugged.

"You mean he lets you hide" Mycroft said knowing his brother didn't accept credit for his work. Whilst Sherlock occasionally got paid he mainly lived off the interest of his inheritance. Sooner or later Mycroft knew that Sherlock would need to find some means to make ends meet like take a flat mate or actually demand payment for his services. He wanted Sherlock to recognise who he really was.

"Can't I just see the files?" Sherlock offered a compromise.

"No. You have to talk to Richard Brooke. He's in prison" Mycroft ordered but then explained "He won't talk to what he called a suit. I want you to pose as a fellow prisoner and he'll suss out one of my officers from the off. An ex-junkie on the other hand…"

Sherlock sighed "Ok. I'll come."

Sherlock looked at Mycroft as if to say 'leave' so that he could put on some clothes and Mycroft gave Sherlock the time he needed. Mycroft and Sherlock then left to solve the first complex crime that Sherlock would become known for. However, Sherlock's blasé deductions about the shenanigans of other fellow prisoners had almost caused a prison riot. Sherlock was attacked and had to go to hospital to be checked out but the doctors decided that he could recover at home.

* * *

Mrs Hudson was enjoying taking care of Sherlock and Mycroft looked ruefully at his brother. He should have known that Sherlock just couldn't turn it off and that putting Sherlock in prison was more than just dangerous it was stupidity given the way Sherlock attracted trouble. If Sherlock wasn't observing and deducting the wrongdoings of fellow prisoners then there was a ready supply of drugs to tempt him. Mycroft would think twice before using his brother's abilities again. Mrs Hudson then decided to pour glasses of sherry to toast Sherlock's first taste of fame.

"Why are we doing this? We never do this" Sherlock grumbled at being the centre of attention.

Mrs Hudson replied "It's because you are home from the hospital and we are all very happy that you solved your first case."

"Am I happy too? I haven't checked" Mycroft responded, tongue-in-cheek, it was him that had credited Sherlock with solving the case so that it would generate his brother more business.

"It's a disgrace, sending your little brother into that prison alone. Family is all we have in the end, Mycroft Holmes" Mrs Hudson admonished.

Mycroft wasn't used to being told off and he already felt foolish at putting Sherlock at risk without being told by a semi-reformed alcoholic so he snapped "Oh, shut up, Mrs Hudson."

Sherlock was shocked by Mycroft's rare display of bad manners so he chided his brother "Mycroft!"

"Apologies" Mycroft duly said to Mrs Hudson, and then lifted his glass "To Sherlock's first publicised case."

"To Sherlock" Mrs Hudson echoed and then went to get the cake out of the oven.

Sherlock slightly reddened. He knew that Mycroft was proud of him and their team work had earned Mycroft a promotion from team leader to director. Sherlock then went by the window and lit up a cigarette. Mycroft went to stand beside Sherlock and lit a cigarette up too.

"MI5 was very impressed by your work and so I have a job offer I should like you to decline" Mycroft whispered worriedly to Sherlock.

"I...decline your kind offer" Sherlock responded in a hushed tone.

Mycroft nodded, relaxed and then said "I shall pass on your regrets."

"What was it?" Sherlock asked out of curiosity.

"An undercover assignment aboard that would prove fatal to you in, I think, about six months" Mycroft informed Sherlock matter-of-factly.

"Then why don't you want me to take it?" Sherlock asked surprised. He still saw himself as a burden to Mycroft, one that Mycroft barely tolerated.

"It's tempting, but on balance, you have more utility closer to home" Mycroft concluded.

"Utility! How do I have utility?" Sherlock scoffed.

Mycroft felt a touch of hurt to see that Sherlock still didn't realise how much better the world was with him in it "Sherlock, you provided a great service to me, to Lestrade and a few others without asking for anything in return. You have great utility. Also...your loss would break my heart."

Sherlock choked on his cigarette and barely managing to get out the words he said "What the hell am I supposed to say to that?!"

Mycroft was saved the trouble of answering, as Mrs Hudson walked in and said "Are you two smoking?!"

"No!" Mycroft quickly denied.

But Sherlock simultaneously blamed his brother "It was Mycroft!"

"That's ok dears. I fancied one too" Mrs Hudson said and then lit a cigarette up.


	12. Chapter 11

"For Heaven's sake, stop sawing away on that infernal instrument! It was a sad day when Mother gave it to you, a sad day for her, a sad day for you, a sad day for us all... What I cannot understand is why, since you've had that violin with you so long, you never learned to play!" Mycroft admonished Sherlock as he climbed the stairs to his brother's flat. How his brother won a prestigious music prize he didn't know!

"My dear Mycroft, this is a surprise! Is this a social call?" Sherlock welcomed in a mock polite tone.

"Yes, yes, oh yes, purely social" Mycroft reassured pleasantly. "How are you?"

"Very well" Sherlock crisply responded. "Well, now that the social call is over, hadn't we better get down to business?"

"Aren't you going to reintroduce me to your friend first?" Mycroft reminded Sherlock of his manners.

"Oh, I didn't see the point since you had already run a background check and John knows all that there is to know about you" Sherlock pointed out.

Mycroft acknowledged this deduction through saying "You know he's nothing like as slow witted as you've been leading me to believe, Sherlock. Though does he know that I occupy a minor position in the British Government?" Mycroft asked hesitantly.

Sherlock scoffed at Mycroft's reserve "He is the British Government when he's not too busy being the British Secret Services. Mycroft, John stays."

Mycroft turned to John "If you ever mention hearing what I am about to tell my brother I guarantee you, on behalf of the British Security Services, that materials will be found on your computer hard-drive, resulting in your immediate incarceration." Mycroft then addressed his brother "Sherlock, the terror alert has been raised to critical. We have solid information. An attack IS coming."

"Solid information. A secret terrorist organisation is planning an attack. That's what secret terrorist organisations do, isn't it? It's their version of golf" Sherlock retorted.

"Do you remember what father used to tell us when we were young?" Mycroft asked Sherlock, but then cited the words "Eliminate the impossible and whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

"You're quoting father now? How odd" Sherlock looked puzzled knowing that Mycroft still despised their father. Sherlock wondered if Mycroft was trying to appeal to his better side. Sherlock thought that Mycroft should know by now that that didn't exist.

"I have given the Home Secretary my personal assurance that you're on the case. Here are the files." Sherlock flicked through and stopped at a photograph "Don't be alarmed. Some of it is to do with sex" Mycroft pointed out.

"Sex doesn't alarm me" Sherlock stated and this much was true. Sherlock just thought that sex just didn't apply to him.

"How would you know?" Mycroft had always bemoaned Sherlock for cutting himself off from any possibility of a sexual relationship after he had been beaten bloody by Dr Nelson. Anyone who truly cared for Sherlock would have looked passed the scarring. Mycroft felt that if he derided Sherlock for being a virgin it might just motivate him to move on from what had been done to him.

Sherlock however looked hurt at that comment. Mycroft knew his reasons for abstaining. "The internet is a marvellous thing as you would know after getting your heart broken and not risking it again" Sherlock mocked to be equally hurtful and he wanted to black mail Mycroft in the way Mycroft had done to John "I wonder what GCHQ thinks."

"Don't be smart" Mycroft said, he was still reeling from his loss of Rachel.

"That takes me back. 'Don't be smart, Sherlock, I'm the smart one'." Sherlock mimicked.

"I am the smart one" Mycroft reaffirmed.

"I used to think I was an idiot" Sherlock stated.

"Both of us thought you were an idiot, Sherlock" Mycroft retorted. "We had nothing else to go on, until we met other children."

"Oh, yes. That was a mistake" Sherlock smiled as he reminisced. Mycroft and Sherlock were sent to Sunday school and Mycroft debated the existence of God with the vicar. Mycroft had won the argument but had been severely reprimanded by their father for impudence. It was then that Mycroft began to lose respect for his father. He was encouraged to question everything, to observe and deduct, but to question the existence of God was met with a sound thrashing. The duplicity!

"Ghastly. What were they thinking of?" Mycroft lightly responded covering any emotion of the incident that was playing in Sherlock's mind.

"Probably something about trying to make friends" Sherlock smiled at John. John was standing back. The verbal jousting was like watching a chess match between the Holmes brothers.

"Oh, yes. Friends. Of course, you go in for that sort of thing now" Mycroft also recognised John's presence. Mycroft was slightly resentful of John since he was closer to Sherlock than he was. Mycroft loved his brother however unwilling he had been to show it.

"And you don't? Ever?" Sherlock questioned. He hoped that one day that Mycroft would wake up and see that Rachel was more than just a friend who would do anything for him if he just let down his guard. Sherlock would then be able to tell Mycroft about his son.

"If you seem slow to me, Sherlock, can you imagine what real people are like?" Mycroft posed. "I'm living in a world of goldfish."

"Yes, but I was away at university for some time" Sherlock replied.

"So?" Mycroft shrugged.

"Oh, I don't know...I thought you perhaps might have found yourself a...goldfish." Sherlock said. He had thought that once he was out of Mycroft's way, Mycroft would have sought company in Rachel. Sherlock wanted Mycroft to have a happy ending. Sherlock was flicking through the files. He settled on a photograph, a family mourning "Look at them. They all care so much. Do you ever wonder if there's something wrong with us?" Trying to broach the unspoken subject.

"All lives end. All hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage, Sherlock" Mycroft solemnly replied, the hurt but also the resolve he felt from loss love and the lack of it growing up implicit in his tone.

Sherlock knew that Rachel was right about Mycroft and his son being better off without them. This upset Sherlock and so he decided off-handedly "I can't do the case." Sherlock then handed the files back to Mycroft and left the room.

"Please make him see sense sooner rather than later. He doesn't listen to me. There's too much history between us, John. Old scores. Resentments" Mycroft entreated.

"Nicked all his smurfs? Broke his Action Man? Or was it left to be brutalised?" John jested knowing the toll that his friend was still going through because of Mycroft's neglect.

"Sherlock has all the energy in the family. We need that energy now" Mycroft said with urgency, hoping that John would look pass the past.

"He's a brave man. He'll do it" John said with confidence.

"Bravery is by far the kindest word for stupidity, don't you think?" Mycroft finally acknowledged the danger to his brother.


	13. Chapter 13

Sherlock was resting on the couch. He had just finished his case with The Woman. He had been sexually attracted to her and when he was unconscious The Woman had strung him up and beat him with a riding crop. The pain was nothing beyond what he had before and The Woman seemed impressed at how stoically he took the beating. It made him seem attractive to her. Sherlock had then figured out the various codes which he gave to Mycroft and then had given her an escape route. He was now bored but when he looked at his e-mail he found that there was a case on offer from an ex-university acquaintance. He was tempted to say no just out of spite but then his ego won out. His university acquaintance may be a director of an international corporation but he was the only existing consulting detective!

Sherlock looked back at his university years whilst resting on his couch.

_Sherlock was on his way to university. His bags were packed in Mycroft's car. Sherlock and Mycroft were silent for most of the journey. They always seemed to have very little to say to each other. It didn't help that Mycroft couldn't talk about his job. Chopin was playing in the background. Mycroft pulled up outside the Great Gates of the university._

_Mycroft touch his brother on the shoulder, Sherlock gave a barely detectable flinch. "Sherlock, if it gets too tough I just want you to know that you can come home at any point."_

"_I'll be ok, Mycroft" Sherlock reassured his brother but he had little confidence in his own words._

Sherlock's university years hadn't been happy and his drug habit had worsened in order to cope with both the solitude and misery.

_A piece of paper was chucked at Sherlock's head. He turned around to see who had thrown it but they had already disappeared. He bent down and picked up the piece of paper. He read the message: You may know who's slept with who but why don't you just try and get in on the action. But I forget you prefer playing with yourself. _

The harrying at University for the most part was name calling and being left out of socials. Sherlock had responded through making pertinent observations and it made him even more unpopular. There was no John or Greg at University so he was very much alone.

_Sherlock had gone to crack den. He wanted to leave behind the desolation and wretchedness that he was currently surrounded in. Sherlock did the simple transaction and found himself a corner. He injected himself with the heroine he had just brought and floated away. He had terrible visions but he kept his head knowing that it will all be over soon._

_The next thing Sherlock knew was that he was in hospital. Mycroft was beside him but Mycroft's despair was carefully masked "What happened?"_

"_I don't know" Sherlock replied since he didn't want to confess his weakness._

"_Sherlock, why didn't you come to me?" Mycroft pressed his brother._

"_I didn't need to be mollycoddled" Sherlock snapped._

_"But you would seek comfort in drugs instead?" Mycroft challenged. Sherlock gave no response. "This has to stop. I'm keeping a closer watch from now on." _

_Sherlock again resented Mycroft's interference in his life and stared at a wall. Mycroft wondered if their mother was still alive whether she would do Sherlock any good._

All Sherlock had were his experiments and a violin. Sherlock's practicals had led to him graduating with a double First in Chemistry.

The University years were only marginally better than that of his Prep School years. The prep school years had been filled with wedgies, having his locks flushed down the toilet and being tossed into a swimming pool. From the age of six Sherlock was sent to a Prep Boarding School. Sherlock went home every Summer, Easter and Christmas break but he largely felt unwanted by his family.

_Mummy was completing a crossword and daddy was sipping his whisky whilst reading a copy of the Shakespeare plays determined prove that Shakespeare hadn't written them. Mummy was too busy with the outward appearance of normalcy to notice if anything was out of the ordinary with her family. Sherlock had a bandage over his ear. _

"_What happened Sherly?" Mycroft asked as he entered. Mycroft had grown concerned that his brother was coming back with worse injuries from school and he knew from his friends' brothers that Sherlock wasn't popular._

_Sherlock had already had a jigsaw out and Sherlock couldn't leave a jigsaw undone, even when it was just a photo of bake beans. Redbeard was at his feet. He had been given the __Irish setter__ a few years before going to Prep School and it was during this time that he wanted to be a pirate after Mycroft had read to him Treasure Island. Sherlock immediately connected to Redbeard and Redbeard was fiercely loyal and protective to Sherlock sensing vulnerability about the boy. Sherlock was always more calm and relaxed around Redbeard._

_Sherlock shrugged his shoulders in response to his brother's question. Mycroft was only 14 himself and was in his second year at Secondary school. Mycroft didn't know how to deal with Sherlock's refusal to talk to him about what was going on at school and if Sherlock did talk Mycroft didn't know what he could do about it._

_Mycroft reacted to Sherlock's problem in exasperation and flippantly said "Don't be so stupid Sherlock. That piece obviously goes there." Mycroft picked up a jigsaw piece and placed in correctly._

_Redbeard barked at Mycroft._

"_Sherlock keep that infernal dog quiet" daddy shouted at Sherlock. _

_Sherlock's head immediately snapped up and said "Yes sir." Sherlock had routinely felt the punishments his father delivered._

"_It isn't Sherlock's fault the dog barked" Mycroft steely pointed out. He couldn't do anything about school but Mycroft would protect Sherlock from their father._

"_The dog is Sherlock's responsibility" daddy retorted._

"_The dog is a family dog" Mycroft stood his ground knowing that daddy normally picked on Sherlock as he was the youngest and just someone to take out his own disappointments on. He had seen the nasty marks left by his father's belt on his brother's skin and Mycroft knew then that the beatings were wrong. Sherlock had been playing hide and seek with Mycroft and Mycroft was supposed to come and look for him but he got lost in a book. Sherlock had come back into the house sodden from the rain which upset mummy and therefore drove daddy to punish him. Mycroft saw how Sherlock had retreated further and further into himself, avoiding human contact where possible. He also knew that Sherlock's lack of social skills was a severe disadvantage to him at Prep School._

"_I never had this much trouble when you were younger" Daddy huffed._

"_You weren't so unwise to buy me a dog" Mycroft said to deliberately to divert his father's attention from his brother but his coolness radiated a power that demonstrated that he was now beyond his father's teachings. _

Sherlock continued to be ragged on at school. But it was nothing compared to the animosity between Mycroft and his father which he was normally involved in in someway. Sherlock hated how his brother defended him. He felt weak and stupid at being the cause of the tension. It was only Redbeard in which Sherlock found companionship but when he lost Redbeard his world seem to shatter.

_Redbeard had to be put down following a record of veterinary issues and Sherlock was stroking Redbeard's long, silky, red coat. Sherlock had tears in his eyes._

_"It's ok boy. You'll be going to a place where you can run and hunt for as long as you like." Sherlock said his farewell._

_Mycroft looked at his distraught little brother with pity but once Redbeard was gone and Sherlock had shed his tears, Sherlock had a new resolve never to love or let anything get so close to him again. Sherlock had realised how much caring for someone or something could hurt and so protected himself against such feelings by refusing to acknowledge that he had a heart._

Following Redbeard's death, mummy had brought Sherlock his violin to fill the hole. With lessons Sherlock had become proficient over a few months. Sherlock expressed himself more through music than words. Only Mycroft seemed to acknowledge this.

Sherlock had just passed the Entrance Examination for Secondary school when his father had crashed the car. It was an 18 year old Mycroft that broke the news to his brother that their parents had died as Sherlock laid in his hospital bed. Sherlock received the news with little emotion. Mycroft wasn't sure how to manage a teenage boy who just lost his parents and he was so full of anger at his father's foolishness and his mother's laxity. Mycroft found himself always putting off Sherlock until later when he could muster the energy to deal with his brother's sullenness. Following his parents death Mycroft left the home counties and had moved to Scotland where his family had frequently holidayed, a place full of happier times. He had studied at ST Andrews and joined the Police force.

Sherlock had thrived in Secondary School despite what happened to him. He had finally found people who accepted him. Moriarty had won a scholarship to Sherlock's secondary school but he came from a poor background and his common accent (which was later altered through elocution lessons) was mercilessly mocked. Moriarty's presence had deflected the attention off Sherlock and at first Sherlock was grateful for that. But then Moriarty had shown his superiority through playing tricks on his classmates and he retaliated indiscriminately. Sherlock had come up against him to protect his dorm mates and it had resulted in him almost losing his life but in the grand scheme of things it didn't matter. He had found John and Greg, and now Sherlock had both John and Greg back in his life. He was as happy as he could ever be.

Sherlock texted John and Greg to say he was on his next case. He knew that Moriarty would soon raise his head again.


End file.
